


A suspicious lack of social restrictions

by Metrowolf



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: M/M, zombie immunity au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:31:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3450599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metrowolf/pseuds/Metrowolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Gift for my friend Karu! Man I keep forgetting i'm an asexual person, porn is actually a challenge to write. That's why i keep doing it tho, need to get better at this! I'm sorry I can't write these two without making them super sarcastic, I hope you like it. :0 (( side note I could not think of a title???))</p>
    </blockquote>





	A suspicious lack of social restrictions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HappyFunBallXD](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyFunBallXD/gifts).



> Gift for my friend Karu! Man I keep forgetting i'm an asexual person, porn is actually a challenge to write. That's why i keep doing it tho, need to get better at this! I'm sorry I can't write these two without making them super sarcastic, I hope you like it. :0 (( side note I could not think of a title???))

The zombie apocalypse was nothing like Grif had been expecting, and yet was exactly what he knew how to handle. Sure he was a bit out of shape, but the zombies were slow and noisy and easy enough to escape or kill. He had also lost a lot of weight since the zombies started showing up. As it turns out running for your life every day was good for your health. Plus the whole immunity thing? Fucking nice. He had survived well enough, trying to escape the hell hole that was Texas for the hell hole that was Alaska. Then something unexpected happened. He made a friend.

The end of the world is not the time to be picky about who you hang out with, but Simmons was a dweeby thing, tall and lanky, completely full of himself. They bickered constantly, over the fact that Simmons's was far to reckless for someone who wasn't immune, and how Grif was far too reckless for someone who was. Simmons was a smart ass, Grif was lazy. Yet, it didn't take long before Grif couldn't imagine life without the sassy ginger.

It had been a long time since Grif had kissed anyone, but after one particular close call he couldn't stop himself. Once again Simmons had gotten himself cornered, and Grif had had to literally behead half a dozen people to save him. Making sure he hadn't gotten any blood on him first, Grif grabbed Simmons and kissed him roughly. He was just so damn worried, and then so damn relieved. And of course that stupid nerd went and kissed him right back. They had met at a gas station on accident, proceeded to blow it up and agree to head to Alaska together, simply so they wouldn't be alone anymore. Grif had not planned on falling in love.

Grif wasn't exactly sure where he thought the relationship would go from there, but the kissing didn't stop which was nice. There was just one problem if they want to go any further.

“I'm not sure we should stop at a Walmart, they're really big and who knows how many zombies could be in there,” Simmons warned as they pulled into a deserted parking lot. The sun was high and they were probably somewhere in Idaho, but Grif had stopped keeping track a couple of states ago.

“I need to find something,” Grif replied, pulling his machete from the back seat. He had picked it up, along with a few other bladed weapons at a depot they hit back in Texas. The machete was turning out to be a blessing. Very quiet unlike a gun, and had the added benefit of making him look like a total bad ass.

“What on earth could you be looking for? We've stopped at four gas stations today and every one of them had snack cakes,” Simmons complained loudly. Still, he grabbed one of the other tools, a hoe, and followed Grif to the store. He normally preferred long distance weapons, but they had run out of ammo during their last encounter and hadn't been able to find more bullets since.

“Shut up dude,” Grif hissed, putting a finger to his lips. The Hawaiian man stepped over what used to be an automatic door but was now just a bunch of glass shards on the ground and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath, listening for the tell tale sounds of shuffling from in the store. He knew he wouldn't be able to hear everything, but it was a start. Nothing.

He waved Simmons on and they carefully walked in, keeping their weapons up. Grif made a bee line for the cosmetics section, and Simmons couldn't help but stare at him in confusion.

“Uh, Grif?” Simmons asked as they wandered through the make up aisle. “Is there something you need to tell me?”

“No. Shit, it's been so long since I've been to a Walmart I forgot where they keep it,” Grif muttered, more to himself than to his partner.

“Keep what?” Simmons hissed back, but Grif had already turned the corner.

“Ah ha!” Grif shouted from the next aisle over, and Simmons hushed him immediately.

“Dude shut the fuck up-” He started, before nearly tripping over himself when he saw what was in Grif's hands. Condoms and lube. “Holy fucking shit are you serious,” Simmons squeaked, his voice cracking in surprise.

Grif laughed at his reaction. “Dude I had no idea it would be this hard to find this shit in the apocalypse!”

“Great,” Simmons huffed, knowing for a fact he was blushing, “can we leave now. And uh, maybe find a safe place to... uh.”

“Fuck?” Grif supplied, winking at him suggestively.

“Let's just go,” Simmons snapped. He had not stopped blushing, which was a bad sign. They made a hasty retreat from the store, keeping alert but didn't run into any of the infected.

“How long have you been looking for that?” Simmons asked as they fortified a shelter for the night. They had ended up in a tiny suburban neighborhood, which was blissfully devoid of the undead hordes they had been outrunning all day. Simmons picked a house on the edge of the neighborhood, so if they needed to they could make a hasty exit. It was weird the things you started noticing once you got used to being in the apocalypse.

“Not for too long,” Grif replied, drawing the blinds.

“I could have helped you look jack ass,” Simmons sighed. He locked the front door and set a heavy chair against it. He wasn't actually sure if it would hold the door or if it was just a Hollywood myth, but it made him feel safer none the less.

“Nah, I wanted to see the look on your face when I found it,” Grif responded. They had checked the house when they first got there, and it didn't have anyone in it, alive or dead. What it did have was a spacious master bedroom.

Simmons looked at the chair before glancing around the room to make sure there wasn't another way in. He turned to look at Grif only to find the man standing next to him, a huge grin on his face. Simmons jumped in surprise, he was alarmingly quite for his size. Grif put an arm around Simmons in an attempt to draw him closer, and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Simmons gave a start, before closing his eyes and kissing him back. The zombie apocalypse sucks, and it's about god damn time something good happened from it.

Grif moved his hands to Simmons's hips, gripping him lightly. Simmons smiled into the kiss, pressing himself forward. It wasn't something they hadn't done before, but there was something about the kiss that felt different. A certain urgency Simmons had never felt from Grif before. And suddenly he was nervous.

Simmons pulled away from the kiss, his face flushing as red as his hair. “Uh, Grif are we.. uh-” He stuttered with embarrassment.

“Are we what?” Grif asked. His expression faltered, from that salacious grin he had been wearing to a more perplexed number, but he still kept his hands on Simmons's hips.

“Are we dating?” Simmons asked.

Grif blinked at him. “Dude, everyone is dead. There are no more social constraints, no need to put a name on this.”

“Can we date?” Simmons was showing no signs of going back to his normal skin color.

Grif considered his offer. “I mean, why the hell not?”

It was Grif's turn to be surprised when Simmons kissed him excitedly. Grif kissed his boyfriend (shit it was going to be fun saying that) back, parting his lips and letting him in. Simmons took the invitation, licking at the inside of his mouth. Grif pulled him closer, his hands slowly pressing against Simmons's chest. He slowly worked his way down, curling his fingers into the edge of the taller man's jeans. At the touch Simmons pulled away with a gasp, looking down.

Grif made a tiny noise and pulled his hands away. “Uh, sorry, it just occurred to me that I should probably ask before I do-” He started.

“If you stop right now I will kill you,” Simmons replied immediately.

“Not that that isn't encouraging, but I think we could stand to move this to the bedroom,” Grif tilted his head further into the house behind him. Simmons nodded, his face still red, but less with embarrassment and more with excitement at this point.

Grif grabbed the bag of items he'd stolen from Walmart as he tried to remember where the master bedroom had been. Was it really stealing anymore if nobody owned it? So there were two good things about the apocalypse, finding Simmons and he could commit all the crimes he wanted freely now.

The room was dark when they reached it and when Grif flicked the switch he found that the lights were either broken or the electricity wasn't on anymore, both were pretty lame options.

Simmons sat down on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets nervously, “Soooo-” He started, glancing around the room.

“Have you ever done this before?” Grif asked curiously, sitting next to him.

“Of course,” Simmons replied immediately, but his voice had noticeably rose in pitch.

Grif just chuckled before leaning up to kiss the ginger again. His hands ran across Simmons's chest, undoing his buttons for him. Simmons tugged his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. Grif broke apart their kiss to tug his own shirt off, folding it before tossing it to the floor.

“Seriously?” Simmons asked, staring at it.

“Shut up I'm not a slob like you,” Grif kissed him again.

“Yes, you are. In fact, you are worse than me. Who leaves empty coke bottles in the car?” Simmons retorted.

“Well what am I supposed to do with them?” Grif asked.

“Literally anything else? Who cares about the environment anymore just throw them out of the car?!” Simmons was on the verge of shouting when Grif rolled his eyes and kissed him again, this time efficiently shutting him up.

“You talk too much,” Grif pointed out, pulling himself up and straddling Simmons. He cupped Simmons's face and tilted it up, kissing him and parting his lips slightly. Simmons grinned into him, putting his hands on his boyfriend's hips and pulling him closer. Grif flicked his tongue into the other man's mouth, licking greedily at his teeth.

It wasn't until Grif was slowly pushing him back onto the bed that Simmons broke away from their kiss. “Uh-uh, I am not going on bottom, I have so much to live for!”

Grif paused, torn between laughing and being offended. “Like what?”

Simmons laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling for nearly ten seconds before responding, “okay maybe I don't but this isn't how I want to go.”

“Fuckin rude,” Grif crossed his arms. “You want to top then?”

“Watch me,” Simmons shot back, wiggling out from under him. Grif made no move to protest as he laid back down on the bed, and even grinned like a wild cat- no, a puma- when Simmons moved on top of him. The younger man gave Grif a quick kiss, his hands sliding around the edge of his pants. He quickly undid the buttons, tugging uselessly at the edge.

“Still laying down,” Grif pointed out.

“Move your useless hips,” Simmons shot back. Grif complied, lifting his hips just enough for Simmons to pull his pants down. He kicked them off and grinned, only to let out a gasp when Simmons palmed his growing erection through his boxers.

Simmons muffled the noises he was making by leaning down to give him a frantic kiss, working his free hand over Grif's boxers. Grif ran his hands through short red hair, tugging lightly. He pulled away to gasp again when Simmons dipped his fingers into the edge of his boxers, taking him in his hand. Months of fighting in the apocalypse left Simmons's hands rough and worn, and he dragged his calloused palm across Grif's dick.

“Gentle, Jesus!” Grif gasped.

“Ah?” It was more of a noise than a response, but Simmons slowed his movements as he pressed a kiss on Grif again. Once he had a better grip Simmons upped the pace, carefully working his hand around Grif. He slipped his thumb across the crown, wetting himself his a bit of pre-cum before slipping his hand down the shaft again. Grif's breath hitched through the kiss, and Simmons pulled back to grin at him.

“'Have I done this before?'” He scoffed as Grif bit his lip.

“Shut up you asshole,” Grif gasped, before reaching up and pulling him back down. But instead of kissing him Grif pressed his lips to Simmons's neck, biting him gently. He teased the skin between his teeth before letting go, feeling Simmons shudder under his touch. Encouraged, Grif bit him again, harder this time.

Simmons pulled away from him and Grif let out a grunt, suddenly worried he had gone too far. Instead Simmons just worked his way down to the foot of the bed, planting a kiss on Grif's hip bone before sliding off his boxers.

“Holy Dick batman,” Grif gasped.

Simmons stopped. “Was that a fucking pun,” he deadpanned, giving Grif a look that said nothing but “disappointed”

Grif laughed outright, only to choke off when Simmons leaned back down and licked the tip of his penis. He let out a soft moan as Simmons worked his tongue down to the base, before licking back up and taking him in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the edge of the head, slowly working it over in his mouth.

Grif gripped the sheets beneath him, trying not to move too much under Simmons's touch. He let out a pathetic whimper, and felt Simmons grin around him.

“Dick,” Grif repeated, and he heard Simmons snort.

“I'm going to change my name,” Simmons swore, taking Grif in his hand once more.

“Why? It's such a fantastic name. My favorite name in fact,” Grif snickered, his breath a little hitched. Simmons just rolled his eyes, his mouth joining his hands around the shaft. Grif moaned again, finally letting his snarky comments fall to the way side.

Simmons found a quick pace that was doing nothing but awful things to Grif. He ran his hands through Simmons's hair, tugging more urgently than before. Simmons responded in kind, upping the pace until Grif had to bite his lip to keep from crying out.

Well this is not exactly what he had planned on doing with his night, but there was no way in hell Grif was going to stop Simmons now. There would be more chances to use the things he stole from Walmart anyways. His breath came in short gasps as he felt a pressure building in his hips that he hadn't felt in way too long a time. Grif arched his back and let out a short gasp, “I'm-” before he was cumming.

Simmons continued to suck him until Grif laid flat with a satisfied moan. “Well,” The red haired man said as he sat back up, wiping his chin, “God damn.”

“You want me to...?” Grif asked, sitting up, but Simmons just shook his head.

“I'm good for tonight just doing that. I haven't done something like this in a while, I just need to get used to it again,” Simmons shrugged. Then he looked around the room. “Do you think there's running water here?”

Grif just laughed as he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He gave Simmons a quick kiss on the lips before standing up and looking for his boxers. Grif pulled them back on despite protests coming from his lover and walked to what he was sure would be the master bathroom. After a couple of moments floundering in the dark and he managed to find the sink and turn it on. “We have water!” He shouted with excitement.

Once they cleaned up the ended up back in the bed, Grif had his arms around Simmons and was stroking his back absentmindedly.

“Grif?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Grif snorted. “That's so gay dude.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, this is what makes me gay?” Simmons scoffed.

Grif laughed again. “I love you too moron.”

Simmons let out an indignant noise, but pulled Grif closer to him. By time they fell asleep Grif had almost completely forgotten about the apocalypse.

 


End file.
